MY STORY Vol. 4

A week after I peed on a stick and a week before the first actually prenatal visit I had my first ultrasound to see if the pregnancy was viable. Let me tell you, this is an amazing experience. I'm laying there with my knees in the air, Matt holding my hand, staring with all we're worth at the little black and white screen. The technician is doing her thing looking for the little life. I'm holding my breath waiting, terrified.
And then, there it is, a flicker. Joy swept over me. There really is no other way to describe it. I get all teary just thinking about it now. A flicker and a heartbeat and there 'it' is, just like that. We were going to be parents. God help me, I would do whatever it took. I knew it with all of my being.
My second ultrasound came about two weeks after the first prenatal visit. This appointment is set up for me after those bad tests started coming back. This appointment is with what is referred to as a Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor. This specialty is for high risk pregnancy's. I am about twelve weeks pregnant at this point. The receptionist is snide. The waiting room is cold.
We are finally called back after about 30 minutes. The nurse is late middle aged and kind. I pee in a cup for her. It looks like beer. She tests it with a dip stick type protein test and her eyes go wide. She lets me know the stick is showing 4+ protein. She is concerned.
We are then led to the ultrasound room. I get up on the table and lie down. We are both so excited. How has that little flicker grown? Is 'it' OK? Yay, we get a peek.
The technician finds our little one and begins to check 'it' out. Head, body, arm buds, leg buds, nice looking heart, all there accordingly. All looking just like it should. I begin to laugh. I begin to laugh and 'Bean' (as we are calling 'it' now, cause 'it' just sounds kinda impersonal) begins to dance. The technician is amazed. Matt is floored. I just laugh some more. This will be a constant throughout all of the ultrasounds. When I laugh Bean dances. Cool huh?!